Are you a good friend? Probably not. None of us are really that good of a friend. We generally seek out relationships based upon what good they can do for us. However on the rare occasion you will find yourself a party to a relationship where you give significantly more than you get. More oft than not those relationships fail in a spectacular fashion. When that happens we find ourselves questioning how we got so deep into a non-symbiotic relationship. We ask why that friend couldn’t see how much of a user they were. We contemplate a lot of things that relate to our giving in that relationship without really wanting anything in return.

That being said I had a realization, maybe not so profound, but new to me nonetheless. God modeled friendship to us and how it should be held. In the very beginning he laid the framework for the perfect relationship.

God began the creation of all things @Genesis 1. As the creation goes along he creates the heavens and earth, waters, birds, fish, firmament, light and dark. All things essential to our existence. On the last working day of the creation he created animals and people in his own image. What does this really mean to us? Well in his great foresight he took painful care to make sure everything would be in place to create a liveable situation for us. Much like parents try to create a nest for a coming baby that is welcoming, he paved the way for us to walk in and be set up.

I’ve moved several times in my life. Each time it seems a little more difficult than the last. Usually because I am acquiring more stuff that I will have to then move. I consider that I have pretty good friends. However I have never moved quite like this. I have never had friends that would (nor have I done this myself) go ahead of me to my new place, set up my furniture, put food in my fridge, clean, straighten and basically set up a situation where I can walk in and just sit down and relax. Wouldn’t that be nice? But that is exaclty what God did for Adam here. He modeled the behavior of a perfet friend. He did all of this to create a habitable environment for us as humans. Enabling us to purely worship him.

Now not only did he create a cushy spot for Adam to land, he paid the rent on it too. He set only one ground rule for living in the house he had built. Now we follow to Genesis 2 and find his commandment. Simply stated don’t eat off of a certain tree. You have free reign to eat whatever, but this. Then came the expectation that Adam would keep up the property in a manner fitting his surrounding. But God didn’t expect him to do it alone. He created all kinds of animals and creatures to be a helper for Adam. Not only did he go out and get these "pets" for him, but he let him name them all. And in true fashion, Adam was not able to find a helper he thought that would be suitable for him. After being given all of this stuff….well he wasn’t satisfied. After all this work God has done for his friend you would think he would look at Adam and tell him to look around and get a grip. But no, not God the ever faithful friend. He created woman for Adams sake.

Really think about that. God is Adams only friend, and Adam in his finite wisdom is not satisfied. He wants more. And God goes out and gets him another friend. And Adam feels complete once this other being is introduced. What an insult. But God did not see it that way. He only was concerned with the happiness, joy and completeness of man. He wanted so much for us to be happy that he fulfilled our every need before we even knew what the needs were.

And to add insult to injury Adam and Eve broke the one cardinal rule of the Garden created for them. They did the one thing that God, their only true friend, asked them not to do. They abused his gift to them. They had been given everything by God, and five minutes alone with the serpent and all was lost. After his painstaking work, a simple conversation destroys it all. What kind of friend was Adam? What kind of friend are you?

Now in Gods defense if I had gone to all this trouble to set up a friend like he set up Adam and this had happened. Well I think kicking them out of Eden would have been the farthest thing from my mind. He just kicked them out of the perfect garden and gave them the rest of the earth to live on. They had to work a little harder, but they would still live and be provided for. Furthermore he let them know that if he reached out he could live forever.

He gave us yet another chance to redeem ourselves to him through our respect and honoring of his gifts of friendship. And to this day we continue to fail at this.

Now I say all of that to say this. As a believer I have come to a profound realization as to what a good friend is. I understand this. This is the level to which I will be held, and the level to which I will hold others. I hold my friends accountable to a standard of loyalty as a result of God’s example. But as a friend this in and of itself is a failure. I expect them to live up to a standard that they may not even understand. I hold them accountable for actions that they don’t even know are wrong. When in reality I am failing them as a friend. I am not letting them know that no matter what they do I am still there. Because as an example from God, we should be giving as a friend. Often we seek what we can receive from a relationship. The real pivot point of a friendship should be giving.